Trust Me, I Speak Tsundere
by switmikan74
Summary: In which Takao teaches Kise the complicated language of Tsunderes. "So when he kicks me…" Kise started in amazement, "…he's actually telling me he loves me?" Takao nodded his head, "Just like when Shin-chan tells me to fuck off, I knew that he couldn't resist me."
**Title:** Trust Me, I Speak Tsundere!

 **Pairing:** MidoTaka and KiseMatsu

 **Summary:** In which Takao teaches Kise the complicated language of Tsunderes. "So when he kicks me…" Kise started in amazement, "…he's actually telling me he loves me?" Takao nodded his head, "Just like when Shin-chan tells me to fuck off, I knew that he couldn't resist me."

 _When he glares at you, it's actually a longing stare in disguise of hostility because he's embarrassed to be caught staring. -_ _ **Takao Kazunari**_

Now, Takao Kazunari does not meddle in things.

Of course a variety of disagreement from certain people would like to tell you otherwise but one shouldn't listen to petty gossips such as those—they would tell you things that are not factual and lack evidences that would point directly to his awesome self.

They would tell you that he had locked the Light and Shadow pair in a closet for three days so that they would just get on each other's throat and be over with the obvious sexual tension between them. But he would roll his eyes and with a bright smile, he would say, "I did not know that the two was in the closet. I was only being a good student and lock it for fear that there might be a burglar who would take our precious brooms."

He was in Seirin that day and by any means he wasn't a student there nor was he even good to begin with and that he doesn't own those brooms so he should just fuck off, as the Seirin coach had kindly stated.

In other instances, a particular woman would beam and speak of the tale of the disappearance of one Sakurai Ryou and how Aomine went berserk at the mysterious caller saying he has the apologizing mushroom and that he isn't afraid to use a spoon on him and that if he ever wants to get Sakurai again, he has to become a man and frigging kiss him already. Of course, Takao would ask in wonderment how _that_ happened in his most innocuous voice.

There's also that one particular time when a purple haired giant climbed the Ferris Wheel because someone had tipped him that there's Himuro at the very top of the ride, stuck and helpless and with Kagami. Murasakibara had pushed the redhead out of the way after he had reach Himuro and the two Yosen player did not come out for another hour or so—not because they can't get down but because they were _busy_. Takao was whistling to himself when he came out from the operator's room and said to Midorima that he doesn't know how to fix his mess and that he is reconsidering his choice for college again and that he suddenly wants to apply and transfer to Cupid Academy, if that ever existed, and focus solely on spreading love.

Midorima had walked away from him that day and refused to speak to him for a week if he doesn't reconsider again his choice of transferring.

And to put the reddest cherry on top, he heard from a friend who heard from a friend who heard from a friend who heard from Kuroko that there was a sudden flood of men in black in Tokyo searching for a 'kidnapped' Furihata and a furious Akashi storming to Seirin demanding an explanation why Furihata isn't kidnap and why he can't be the knight-in-shining-armor. So, to pacify the crazy man, Riko, in her most desperate, handed a shaking Chihuahua to the redhead. They hadn't seen the boy for weeks then.

Takao received the most expensive gift the next day and handed it to Midorima because it is his most unattainable lucky item. He wonders why he received such a thing though with a twinkle in his eyes.

So, he supposes he wasn't a meddlesome man. He just had a big warm nicest piece of heart in the whole wide world. _And_ he also likes to say that he is helpful and that he would give it his all just to help somebody in need. Though most times, he just gets up in his bed at the most inconvenient hour and declares that someone needs his help.

That particular someone would wake up in his own bed, gasping and shivering, saying to himself that it was just a nightmare.

So when one Takao Kazunari saw one Kise Ryouta, a slow smirk blooms in his face and he might have heard the heaven cry.

He had seen Kise on a café he was walking by and invited himself in. Kise had been lonesome, bordering to being sad and he has an inkling why. Though he doesn't show it much on his face, hiding his gut feeling behind his extra bright grin.

"Hey, Kise." He had greeted and the blond blinks at him before a wide shining smile spread on the handsome face of the model.

"Takaocchi! What are you doing here?" Kise had asked and Takao shrugged in pretend nonchalance. The smirk on his face was barely hiding behind his smile.

"I was walking by and I saw you here by yourself." He started and saw the model's shoulder dropping and although he ought to sympathize, he smirked instead with all the wickedness of the world, "Got a spat with your boyfriend, Kasamatsu?"

Kise would have blushed at the term use but instead his eyes began to tear, "OH! TAKAOCCHI!"

He winced at the sudden wail. Startled, he went around the table and sat next to Kise, patting his back for good measure, "There, there. Tell me what happened."

"Ka—sam—atsu-sempai… he… he…" Kise began then let out a loud sob that earned the entire attention of the crowd in the café, Takao beamed them a smile and told them everything is okay, "He what, Kise?"

"HE HATES ME!" Kise brought his face to the wooden surface and began wailing like a kid who had his candy stolen.

Takao's smile widens even more but his voice didn't betray the glee he has on his face and instead ask in 'concern', "What? Did he tell you that?"

"NO!" Kise answered and Takao has half the mind to wonder if it is necessary at all to capitalize each of the blonde's response to his query. His ears were beginning to ring.

"THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW HE HATES YOU?"

Takao joins in the shouting because as he thought, _might as well_.

"BECAUSE HE ALWAYS LOOKS AT ME AS IF ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS KILL ME!"

"OH YEAH? WHAT IF HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO GLANCE YOUR WAY AND YOU MISTAKE IT FOR MURDEROUS REASON?"

He knows because he had firsthand experience of it.

"BUT HIS GLARE INTENSIFIES WHEN I CAUGHT HIM STARING!"

"WILL YOU FUCKING SHUT UP?" They both looked at the customers looking at them with a glare and they have the decency to actually look sheepish.

When they felt the glares dropping, Takao shifted on his seat and stared at the crying blond, "He glares at you often?"

Kise nodded pitifully.

The smirk explodes on his face and he couldn't help but squeal in glee.

"You're one lucky man!" Takao exclaimed, getting on his feet and slamming his hands on the table. Kise looked at him like he had gone mad—Midorima would have agreed if he was with them.

"What do you mean?" Takao ignored the urge to suddenly sing from Kise's question and instead, beamed at the confused look that settled on Kise's eyes, "When he glares at you, it's actually a longing stare in disguise of hostility because he's embarrassed to be caught staring."

"What?" The even more dubious expression made him titter.

He flashed him a large beaming smile that drips with confidence and points to himself, "Trust me, I speak Tsundere!"

TBC…

Phish posh. I also speak Tsundere. It's the most complex language in the whole world but once you get the hang of it, it's a breeze for you!

Review please.

And please check out my other fics! Especially, P. S. I Yandere You. :*


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